My Own Personal Wipeouts

Yeah, that's right. You heard me. And yes, it's plural. I totally biffed it a few weeks ago, and then again just a couple weeks ago. HARD.

The first time, I was at a friend's house having cocktails, and I was about to go home. It was dark out, and I totally missed his back step and got owned by the driveway. My right knee had a monsterous bruise that lasted for almost a month, and it still hurts to kneel on it sometimes. Thankfully, my friend is not as mean-spirited as I am and didn't laugh at me. Although I'm pretty sure he was laughing on the inside. When I told my boyfriend about it, he told me I was lucky that he wasn't there... because he would've been laughing out loud. He would've helped me up and made sure I was okay, but he would've been laughing like a hyena the whole time. I know this. This is part of why I love him... he enjoys laughing at others' misfortune as much as I do.

The second time, I was at a hotel for a wedding reception. I'd had a bit too much to drink, and I totally biffed it. I even cracked a rib. I don't remember what I hit it on, and neither does my boyfriend. Of course I felt no pain at the time, but maaaaan did I feel it the next morning. And I'm still feeling it. I do remember wiping out, but don't remember if my boyfriend laughed while helping me up. I assume he did. I know I would've if he'd been the one to go down. At least we were alone in our room instead of on the dance floor in front of hundreds of people... that totally would've sucked.

When I started this blog, I promised to share all wipeouts with you, and you know that includes my own sa-weet biffs.

I sincerely hope the mental image of me going down hard and writhing in pain has brought you joy today.