My Own Personal Wipeouts

Yeah, that's right. You heard me. And yes, it's plural. I totally biffed it a few weeks ago, and then again just a couple weeks ago. HARD.

The first time, I was at a friend's house having cocktails, and I was about to go home. It was dark out, and I totally missed his back step and got owned by the driveway. My right knee had a monsterous bruise that lasted for almost a month, and it still hurts to kneel on it sometimes. Thankfully, my friend is not as mean-spirited as I am and didn't laugh at me. Although I'm pretty sure he was laughing on the inside. When I told my boyfriend about it, he told me I was lucky that he wasn't there... because he would've been laughing out loud. He would've helped me up and made sure I was okay, but he would've been laughing like a hyena the whole time. I know this. This is part of why I love him... he enjoys laughing at others' misfortune as much as I do.

The second time, I was at a hotel for a wedding reception. I'd had a bit too much to drink, and I totally biffed it. I even cracked a rib. I don't remember what I hit it on, and neither does my boyfriend. Of course I felt no pain at the time, but maaaaan did I feel it the next morning. And I'm still feeling it. I do remember wiping out, but don't remember if my boyfriend laughed while helping me up. I assume he did. I know I would've if he'd been the one to go down. At least we were alone in our room instead of on the dance floor in front of hundreds of people... that totally would've sucked.

When I started this blog, I promised to share all wipeouts with you, and you know that includes my own sa-weet biffs.

I sincerely hope the mental image of me going down hard and writhing in pain has brought you joy today.

Don't hate me

Okay, I generally avoid videos of kids biffing it for a couple reasons. First, kids fall all the frickin' time, so what else is new? Second, I feel genuinely bad for them when they wipe out. That's right, you heard me: I...... CARE. Don't you dare tell anyone, because I will deny it.

However, this video... this very special video... has a kid who gets up and doesn't even cry, and halfway through the music starts... I laughed my ass off.


Kid falls off swing, into HUGE puddle - Watch more free videos

Bowling for Spaniards

Hmmmm.... maybe if you're at el aeroporto in Madrid, and you know you have a cart full of crap weighing more than you do, you should avoid the escalator. But I'm so very glad this muchacha didn't.


Madrid Woman Falls Down Escalator - Watch more free videos

Dumbass vs ceiling fan

This guy so had this coming. And the Power Rangers theme music is the icing on the cake.


Owned by Ceiling Fan - Watch more free videos

Drunken Big Brother Biff

Totally classic.


Girl From Big Brother Croatia Eats It - Watch more free videos

Big Wrestling Fan vs. Folding Chair

Oh man... this is AWESOME. Stuff like this makes me so very, very happy.


Large Wrestling Fan Vs Fold Out Chair - Watch more free videos

My Own Personal Wipeout

So, I totally biffed it yesterday and my kids saw me and laughed hysterically. Yeah, I know. KARMA.

Here's the story: I was out on my deck in my new apartment, enjoying a smoke before dinner, and my kids were inside watching TV. By the way, the sliding glass door is kinda heavy and sticks a bit, so it can be hard to open. So I get up to go in, grab the door handle, and give it a mighty yank. My fingers totally slip, and I end up sprawled on my back on the chaise lounge.

I could hear the kids laughing, even through the thick glass. Oh, and my daughter's boyfriend was there too. And later that night, my son went out for a smoke and re-enacted my fall. Niiiiiiice. "You have learned well, Grasshopper..." A sick part of me was actually a little proud of their appreciation of the fine art of the biff, even though it was me they were laughing at.

How weird that I totally fell in the summer, while I managed to stay upright all winter long.

Home-made Pole Dance Mishap

This girl totally had this coming. Especially because she was trying to look all sexy right when it happened. That just made it funnier.


Home Made Pole Dance Mishap - Watch more free videos

Bowling Mishap

Listen for the sound of this chick's melon getting conked on the floor... priceless.


Bowling Celebration Falls Flat - Watch more free videos

I'm baaaaaaack.....

Yeah, I know I've been gone for quite a while. Check out Bogurdine in the next couple days if you want the explanation. Won't go into it here.

Anyhow, I am back, with a whole host of videos for you.

This is a series. This guy was pissed at his roommate for slamming the door every morning at the buttcrack of dawn, so he tried to teach him a lesson.


Roommate Revenge: Buttered Floor - Watch more free videos

I guess some people never learn... turn down the volume for this one if the kiddies are around, cuz there's a great deal of swearing.


Roommate Revenge Pt. 2 - Watch more free videos

So then the roommate decides to get his revenge:


Roomate RE-Revenge: Its My Churn. - Watch more free videos

Again, some people just never learn...


Roommate Revenge: Handle With Care - Watch more free videos

Okay, this series had me laughing my ass off for so, so many reasons. The initial idea of buttering the floor was ingenious, first off. Second, I can't believe the stupid roommate didn't get the hint to be more careful when heading in or out of the apartment, just in case. I mean, he got gotten sooooooo many times. The other thing that is so funny is that it becomes this all-out war... that, and the fact that there is some SERIOUS pain going on, complete with the guys just laying there moaning after totally getting owned.

Yeah, I'm back.

Dear God, Look At What I've Become

Yeah... so I'm sitting here at my computer, looking at video after video of people getting owned, laughing my ass off, totally feeding the dark, sinister recesses of my soul, and posting my favorites for you all to see.

I know what this looks like, but believe me, I do have a life. Shut up, I do so!

Adding Insult to Injury

I don't care how many times I watch this, each time it gets a little funnier.


Team Doctor Helps Injure Player - Click Here for more great videos and pictures!

Trampoline Biff

And... he's okay!!! Now he can try to fix the fence before his dad gets home.


Kid Wipes Out Falling Off Trampoline - Click Here for more great videos and pictures!

Wait for it...

I love the way the coach refuses help and tries to pass off the "I meant to do that" thing. And watch him/her (hard to tell which) try to get up.


The Chairs Not There - Click Here for more great videos and pictures!

Saw IV Trailer

Loved this. Especially because the dude just lays there forever while his friends laugh hysterically.


Brand New Saw 4 Trailer - Click Here for more great videos and pictures!

Slippery When Wet

I love this video for so many reasons: the guy totally slips, falls from a height, slams his head, and when his friends go, "Are you okay," he groans, "NOOOO." I know this is the ultimate in evil, but when someone asks if the person who wiped out is okay and that person goes, "No," it just makes me laugh that much harder. Don't ask me why... I can't explain it. But when it happens, I usually laugh until I can no longer breathe.


Boat Slippery When Wet - Click Here for more great videos and pictures!

Painful Failed Flip Attempt

What makes this one really special is the shameless, evil laughter of this dude's friends. Of course, if I'd been there I would've been laughing my ass off too.


Painful Failed Flip Attempt - Click Here for more great videos and pictures!

Failed Dock Jump Attempt

Oh, this is classic. Not only is this poor dork massively humiliated, but he totally racks his nuts. And the slo-mo is priceless.


Failed Dock Jump Attempt - Click Here for more great videos and pictures!

Lady Slips on Icy Steps

This is awesome. Check it out:


Woman Falls Down Icy Stairs - Click Here for more great videos and pictures!

Not only does she do the flailing arm thing, but she totally sliiiiiiides on her ass a ways. Beautiful.

I Believe I Can Fly

The biffs on this video are particularly awesome, because they're in slow motion and some of them look oh so painful. The drawback is that it has a gay laugh track. Luckily, my own mean-spirited cackling drowned it out.